Reasons to wake up
by junkiemuffin
Summary: Suddenly Al felt like he was dreaming. Although he could feel the bed under him, he was afraid this was just an illusion that soon would disappear as he woke up. Al x Ed


**A/N: SPOILERS! This is based loosely on the ending of the FMA anime. This is an old fic and I can't remember well how the series ended anymore, but the idea with this one was that instead of Al and Ed getting thrown into separate worlds, Al manages to transmute Ed back to life but Ed looses his recently regained limbs again in the process. Sort of like an alternative ending. Anyway, this is just a moment between the two brothers after all that.  
**

**The original story and characters belong to Hiromu Asakawa.**

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Al was lying on his bed, listening to his brother breathing on the other side of the room. He felt so happy and peaceful for the first time in years. He watched the pale moonlight shine through a window, hitting his brother's bed and lighting his face so that it looked like it was almost glowing amidst his long hair. Al couldn't help but to smile.

He hadn't even realized all the little things he had missed during his time in the metal armor.  
The gentle breeze of a summer day on his face, the scent of flowers it brought to him. How it felt when rain was falling on his skin, making him all wet and chilly. After he had got his own body back again, he had just stood outside in the rain, breathing the humid air and feeling the drops pouring all over him.

At first he had been so confused. It was like he had been blind and then suddenly gained his vision back. He was stunned of all the feelings and sensations he suddenly went through. It was a miracle for him to touch the grass, press his head against a soft pillow and taste the food again. You really can't understand how important some simple things are until you loose them.

But the most important thing that made him want to cry from joy, was that he was able to feel Ed's touch again. It hurt so bad when he couldn't be close to the person he loved the most for all those years. When he couldn't feel his touch at all, or anyone's touch for that matter. They had gone through all kind of rough decisions with Ed, seen things both pleasant and horrible through their mission to get Al's body and Ed's limbs back. And then finally when they came to it, Ed was dying.

Al shivered as he remembered the blank look in his brother's eyes and the smell of his still warm blood pooling around him. He had felt like his heart was torn away from his chest, though he didn't have a heart nor a human chest back then. All their hard work was going to waste with his dying brother. At that time he didn't care about himself at all, he just wanted to save Ed. But he didn't know how complicated things would turn out when he sacrificed himself for his brother.

Ed still had to sacrifice himself again before they finally had completed their task. Although Ed lost the limbs Al had managed to transmute him, it didn't matter to Ed anymore. He had said he didn't care whether he would lose all his remaining limbs, he cared only about the fact that Al had his body back and was able to live normally again.

"Besides", Ed had added, smirking "I have the world's best auto-mail mechanic, so don't you worry about me!"

Al grinned at the memory of his words. That's how his brother was, he always had that stupid smirk on his face and hid his feelings behind his laughter. Sometimes he shouldn't do that. But he just couldn't accept the fact that even big brothers were allowed to show their feelings and drop their defences sometimes.

Al turned his head to look at his brother again. He looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Almost like a ghost with the pale skin glowing, or an angel with the blond hair. Really, that hair. It was amazing, though Ed didn't really pay attention to the fact of how some people must be jealous because of it. He just thought it was cool to have long hair.

Al sat up in his bed, still watching his brother.

Suddenly he felt like he was dreaming. This eerie moonlight in the dark room, his brother sleeping and he in his own body, all the sounds and smells there were. Although he could feel the bed under him, he was suddenly afraid this was just an illusion that soon would disappear as he woke up.

He got up from his bed and quietly walked to Ed. He kneeled next to his bed and watched him sleep. His auto-mail arm was glowing in the dim light. Al touched it carefully. It felt cool against his own, warm skin.

That's how his armor must have felt back then.

He caressed the metal and felt guilty about the fact that his brother still had those fake limbs because of him. He drew his finger over the spot where the metal arm was attached to Ed's shoulder. Those scars he had would never heal, they were the remnants of their sin; the human transmutation.

Al knew how much pain those mechanical limbs still caused to his brother at times. He saw it from his face on rainy, damp weather or after a rough day. How the remaining parts of his arm and leg were still aching after all these years. He frowned. If he could just do something about his pain.

Al suddenly drew his hand back when he heard Ed's voice.

"Al? What are you doing?" Ed asked sleepily, his amber eyes questioning Al's grey ones. Al didn't know what to say.

"I.. I just felt like I wanted to see you're really there. That I am here.." his voice faded away and he lowered his eyes in embarrassment.

Guess Ed would laugh at him now, his laugh of big brother at the silly little brother. But Ed didn't laugh. Al slowly lifted his eyes up again and found Ed staring at him with a serious face. His eyes were glowing strangely, but then he smiled.

"I'm here", he said. "And so are you, or else I'm dreaming too", he grinned. Al grinned back at him.

"Hey, Ed", he then said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Can I sleep next to you? You know, like we used to sleep when we were kids", Al asked and blushed a little. He sounded like a little, scared child after a nightmare. Ed looked at him for a while.

Al still looked so fragile though he was 14 now. Nothing had changed how Ed felt for him, he would always be the same little brother who Ed would protect. He felt himself so strong when Al was like this, asking for his presence. It was a nice feeling, being needed by someone. He smiled and nodded.

"Sure, Al. Like when we were kids", he moved a little so that Al could climb in the bed next to him.

When they were lying next to each other in the narrow bead, so close they could feel each other's breath on their faces, the dreamy feeling Al had grew even stronger.

"I just can't believe you're there", Al said quietly, looking up. "It's great to feel again", he continued after a while and pressed himself tighter against his brother.

"It's great to have you there again, instead of a huge metal junk", Ed teased.

"Hey! It wasn't junk, that armor served me well all those years", Al protested and punched Ed to his stomach.

"Yeah, thanks to Winry who had to repair it more than once!" Ed ruffled Al's hair and for a while they were just punching and poking each other like two kids, or like two brothers at least. The other thing they couldn't have done in a long time.

Finally, they lied quietly next to each other. Al watched Ed's face again. His hair was now all mixed up on his pillow, eyes shut as he was slowly drifting back to sleep.  
He just couldn't resist it. He reached his hand and carefully caressed Ed's cheek. It was so warm and soft, alive and present. He loved him so much.

Ed opened his eyes when he felt Al's gentle touch.

"Al...?", he asked, surprised.

"Hmm..", Al replied absently and continued trailing his fingers on his brother's face.

Ed frowned in confusion and looked at him, but then relaxed and closed his eyes again. Al let his fingers ran over his cheeks, chin and closed eyes. He brushed his hand through the messy hair and just couldn't get enough of the feeling of his brother being so close to him.

Finally he stopped and just stared at Ed. A very weird thought crossed his mind. He would like to kiss Ed, to feel his warmth on his lips and his breath in his mouth. He felt himself twisted as he played with the thought.

Al propped himself up on his elbow and looked down on his brother, who was still lying eyes closed. Suddenly he parted his lips a bit and sighed, and that's when Al just couldn't resist the urge no longer.

He slowly bent over and pressed his lips against Ed's.

He felt the other boy's body tighten under him and Ed grabbed his shoulders a bit too roughly. Al drew back and opened his eyes just to see stunned Ed looking at him, eyes wide open.

"What are you doing?!" Ed hissed, suddenly with a low voice.

"Kissing you", Al smirked.

"I noticed that! Why.. What? This is wrong you know, you're my brother!" Al drowned Ed's objections to another kiss, more deep this time.

He pressed himself tight against Ed and felt his warmth throughout his whole body. Ed was tensed, but little by little he relaxed and carefully kissed Al back. When they finally parted, they both had to catch their breath.

"Did that feel wrong to you?" Al asked. Ed stared at him, frowning a little and still holding Al tight from his shoulders.

"I.. Well.." Ed was in loss of words, for once. Al smiled at him and brought his face so close they we're breathing the same air.

"Let's not tell anyone, huh?", he said and pressed another gentle kiss on Ed's lips, caressing them with his tongue. Ed finally loosened his grip and moved his hands around Al's back, pressing him tighter against himself.

"Yeah, let's not", he then replied when Al pressed his head against his chest.

They lied there for what felt like forever, listening to each other's strong heartbeat. Ed stroked his little brother's hair and wished they could stay there so he wouldn't have to let Al go. He belonged there where Al was, without one there wouldn't be the other. And it was so good that way, to know there was always someone to catch you when you fall.

"Hey Al, you're my reason to wake up", Ed said though he heard Al was already asleep. It didn't matter.

He knew it already.

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**A/N: Ugh, the sugary sappiness xP I can't believe I've written something like this, makes me feel really awkward now. But Al is such a girl anyway, so I guess sappiness is allowed, heh!  
**


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